命运

是命运?
还是上天的玩笑?

安排着我像猪八戒一样
注定要经历一次又一次的情关
最糟的是:
我都败在同一个人手里

他找我了...
在我下定决心要彻底的放开,忘却他以后

这样的故事情节...
一次又一次地重复上演着
像福建"长命"连续剧
上演直几百集
延续了好几年

他总是会找我
在我下定决心,彻底把他清除以后

收到他的信息
看到ET 家族-MAIKE再次出现
心, 再次不听话了
"卜通,卜通,卜通...."的快速频率
不是因为那男女间那种因爱而心狂跳的缘故
却是因为
我的心....在害怕....在"卜通,卜通,卜通"地迅速颤抖着
担心着是否又会失去些什么...
担心着是否意味着不幸的事即将来临...

他不知道
自从和他在一起后
自从那天他把我从睡梦中惊醒,并告诉我"分手"
又在某一天....午夜,送信息说想念我后
我害怕
害怕午夜的电话铃声
像是不祥的事随之发生
害怕着手机里再次出现那既陌生又熟悉的号码
害怕着他再次拨动我的心跳
害怕着, 担心着

我说了....
他总是没彻底地放开我

我说
我累了
我想放开他
要彻底地放开他
"不要再次出现在我生命里, 好吗?"
我想要让自己的心有那-康复的期限
随之...将你狠狠忘记....

what can i do for him?

dear is having problem...
i knew that through his blog...
after i had finished one organic report...
after 11 hours working on only one report..
huh...
i felt, even much more terrible that he wasnt that well...

just saw his blog...
haixx
what can i do for him?
i keep asking myself......

what can i do for u, my dear?

i have no idea about it,
rather than accompany beside u
i have no idea about it,
just hoping i am with u now, hugging u tightly

why am i feeling that urs feeling = my feeling rite now?
is that because u r part of my life now?
i felt sad, when u r in sad mood
i felt helpless, when u couldnt find anyone for u...
i felt what u felt now...
i felt desperate
i felt just like i was in ur condition

dear.....
something ruined my mind right now
thats you, thats yours feelings

i hope i was the same year as u now
den i would say "quit ur monitor job, and i will do for it"
just like what u say...
while facing problem, i will just cry silently in room
then....everything appear as nothing, as normal after crying
nothing is a big deal for me anymore
i wish i could replace u now..
for- i will cry off all of the sadness, all the annoying things u face
and return to normal again...

dear....
are u sleeping right now?
or u have a sleepness night?

Kesha: Kiss N Tell Lyrics

Listen to yourself you're a hot mess
St-t-tutter through your words breaking a sweat
What's it gonna take to confess
We both know

Yeah I was outta town last weekend
You were feeling like a pimp around your lame friends
Now your little party's gonna end
So here we go

Woah, you got a secret
Woah, you couldn't keep it
Woah, somebody leaked it
And now some shit's about to go down

I never thought that you would be the one
Acting like a slut when I was gone
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

You really should have kept it in your pants
I'm hearing dirty stories from your friends
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

You're looking like a tool and not a baller
You're acting like a chick why bother
I can find someone way hotter
With a bigger, well

Cause on top of all the ways that you messed up
You weren't smart enough to keep your stupid mouth shut
I'm so sick of it I've had enough
I hope you cry

Woah, you got a secret
Woah, you couldn't keep it
Woah, somebody leaked it
And now some shit's about to go down

I never thought that you would be the one
Acting like a slut when I was gone
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

You really should have kept it in your pants
I'm hearing dirty stories from your friends
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

(Kiss n tell)
(Kiss n tell)
(Kiss n tell)
(N n kiss n n tell)

(Kiss n tell)
(Kiss n tell)
(Kiss n tell)
(N n kiss n n tell)

Oh I hope you know
You gotta go
Yo, get up and go
I don't wanna know

Or why you're gross
You gotta go
Yo, get up and go
Cuz I don't wanna know

I never thought that you would be the one
Acting like a slut when I was gone
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

You really should have kept it in your pants
I'm hearing dirty stories from your friends
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

(Kiss and tell)
Maybe you shouldn't, oh-oh
Kiss and tell

一些话

一些话
一遍又一遍的浮现在我脑海里
扰乱着我的思绪

今天...
我把他逼急了...
某个senior 说:" A lai...说服你女朋友拉,叫她考虑看,搬过来"

这时.....
开始了...
是我把他逼急了....
是他费了好多唇舌..
我却只说"我不要搬"
就连那点'我会考虑看看' 的余地都没有...

开始了...

"没有用的, 她决定了的事,谁都改变不了"
"每次都是这样.."
"她生病, 劝了她回m`sia两个星期了, 她就是不肯, 就是到嘴巴烂到不行了,才甘愿"
"这次也是..叫她raya回去, 帮她出机票, 她就是不肯...你看,现在..都没回去"
"每次都是'死牛一片劲'"
就这样.......
他不停地说啊说....

说到那senior 尴尬地对我说:" sorry ha...."

该怎么办...?

这些话一遍又一遍的在我耳边响起....
啊...
什么都做不好....
现在的我就像是没有灵魂的躯壳

啊...

我怎么总是把他逼得那么急?
我怎么总是让他着急得快疯了?

好坏吖..我....

事后...
他送了封信息给我:
"sorry just now i just crazy mad"

本来想说:" is ok, all of that is because of me"
不过..最终还是没回他...
恩......罪恶感很重也...

那都是我的错...

BREAK OFF

He told this today:
" we break off ba~"

zzz...zzzz....

i smile
thats the most stupid guy
he cares, i know
he worries, i know
thats why ...

zzzz...zzz........

maybe he is tiring
tiring for i always make him worry
tiring for he cant even change my mind after i decide something
tiring for my stubborn
haixxx

thats the different way he cares and loves me...

sometimes...
i love to see this
while he is worried about me
sometimes...
i love to hear his threatening voice
only then
i feel he is so cares about me
zzz...zzz........zzz.......

haix...
break off?
what is the relationship between us now?

hmm...
who knows?

Only both of us.....

so tight

waiting him bck last nite...
i wonder why...feeling so much sleepy
haha...
slept straight once he bck ^^

i slept so tight, till 10am..
haha
it has been a quite long time (bt 2 weeks) i din sleep like this

went out with him, to top up his internet
haha
i told him:" i wanna take some fresh air by taking angkut..."
actually, i just wanna spent time with him
week after tomorrow, i will have my exam
is hard for us to meet , to be together ....

appreciate every moment with him..
i knew so well, when exam starts
we will be damn busy with our own stuff
maybe few days only sms once

i wondered why...
but have this kind of feeling today
holding my hand, walking right after him
feeling such bahagia
haha..
i wanna be a "xiao nv ren", stay beside him  ^^

went to bip after that...
then stopped at mcd cafe for cake
haha
super geli cake, no 2nd time for him XD

then...
i slept again....
at his house....till 6pm
wow....
i am just a piglet....
and he just let me sleep this time...
usually he will just disturb me from sleeping
usually he dont let me sleep at his house once he wake up

He did his assignments...
from noon till evening
i slept from noon till evening again
haha

actually..i woke up around 5pm...
just then i pretended as i was sleeping
kekeh
his way while doing assignment was just funny
sometimes, he will suddenly sing song
sometimes, he stood up from his chair, walking around his room, scratching his head
sometimes, he talked to himself
kekeh
i just enjoyed watching these secretly

anywhere....
feeling pity for him
as he and his group members need to submit the assignment at tuesday
and his group members did nothing, and they will be back just monday
and they said, discuss at monday night
huh........i will be die if having such group members !!

his post on fb "any1 help me"
made me feel such helpless, for i cant help him
i hope i could be in 3rd year too suddenly
at least, i still hv possibility to help him

But then..
is just BEST to be in 2nd year
and he is my senior..
kekeh
because i can ask him for help anytime
because he is there for me ...

yeah..
i booked my flight ticket for december
from 23rd december till 12 january
haha
actually my holiday starts at 21 december till 18 january
but then, i wanna back bandung earlier
:p
because he is here, his turn that he din bck home
i m sure i will be missing him lots, just like this time he bck m`sia
thats why, i reduce my holidays at m`sia...kekeh...
miss u miss u, my dear...
between, i cheat him...
i will stay at m`sia for 1 month ++
haha
knowing that he hate for being cheat,
but i just wanna give him a surprise when i back ^^

未知数

透过fb
她们说:"明天来我们家吧!和某个senior"

失落了一些

本来还想不要和朋友唱k到太夜
本来还想八点半去他家
本来还想在他家一直等到他回来的
本来还想和他说"有点想你.........."
本来还想.......

唉~

我真的有点自以为是
自己计划了明天
未经同意,就私自把他归入计划内

原来...
明天...
是个未知数~

我是否能够霸道的说: "今晚陪我?"

:(

suddenly so down
haix
someone just told me that
"no organic chem" for me
haix
why so last minute?
thats the important refrence book
thats what i need so much here
dunno who to tell this kind feeling
i need that book
why suddenly hv kind of feeling that
it wont go smooth for my studies?
GOSH
i hate this kind of feeling
i should fly bck de
not for family, not for friends
but for book...
GOSH
huhu huhu.....
thats why
i trust myself, just myself...
arghh...

倔强

那就是她-倔强得很

所有人劝她:
"回家吧!开斋其间"
她说:"不,机票好贵"

生病时
有人劝她:
"去看医生吧!"
她说:"再等等吧!"

待病情严重了
他劝:
"回马拉西亚吧!"
"不需要~"竟是她的回答

以往
她弄丢了某朋友的pen drive
倔强的她..在街头找了一小时多..
朋友说:"赔一个给他吧!"
失主说:"不要找了"
她却依旧继续
是倔强
是坚持
她抱着那希望:"会找到的!"

终于//
在全部人放弃
要她不在继续的当儿
她找到了!

她总是这样
倔强得很

今天的她...
站在十字路口
等着angkut回家...
站着等了10分钟....
有人劝说:" naik ojeg?"
"不"

倔强的她...
就是硬要等着angkut
走路回家?
她不想! 晚间9点了....
她走过---一个人
她讨厌一个人走路的滋味
且,真的好暗..

她知道...
等待成功的机会很渺茫
她知道..
要是真的没angkut
到时候, 真的更阴暗了

可是...
她就是那么的牛脾气
或许...
她在等着那一丝的希望吧~
心中抱着希望
她就死赖着不走

终于//
她等到了!

她就是这样
总让身边的人担心

然而...
有时候
她就是想这样

坚持自己所爱
坚持着心里-那渺小的希望

抱着希望, 虽然知道有99%失望的可能,
却想坚持, 等着那1% 的机会~

她的心里...
总会有着那微弱的灯光
不停地闪啊闪
等待着奇迹降临

每日一丑 ＞＜

很yu 啊 =.=

她不知道的事

分离，让人感受那份想念的感觉。

告诉自己不要沉迷于想念，却是沉沦了。

离别，不由自主地回忆着过去。

身旁总觉得的少了一把声音。是怀念了。

听着这首歌，《你不知道的事》

我想起了她，

我想念那没有味道的汤，

她不知道，

其实我希望每一天都看见她，

她不知道，

我因为她的简讯而微笑一整天，

她不知道，

我期待她为我煮的每一餐，

她不知道，

我介意她对自己的自卑，

她不知道，

我其实每天都在等待她的简讯，

她不知道,

我会吃醋，

她不知道，

我的未来计划，她是主角，

她不知道，

我这样是因为我发现我真的喜欢她。

 
ps: we post the blog with same title the same day....the pig made me cry~yiks..geramnya..
     sweet and touched in heart

IF

will u accept someone who abandon u,  if he ever turns back ?
will u....?

I did it previously...so many, too many times..
just for the one...
silly?
i felt that, most people felt that....

but my heart keep on whispering to me
"I still love him, so much, too much"
while i accept those messages from him

my heart keep telling me
" I havent put him down, i still cares him, and i still want him"
then...i accepted him ...once again
i dont want to hv any regret in my life
i knew i will blame myself if i ever rejected him, oppose my real feeling towards him
thats why, i accepted him...once again

again...i being hurt....
few months or half years past
the same things happened again...
again...i accepted him
again and again, again and again

i wondered, how many times i had been hurt by the same person
i wondered, how many times we broke up and be together again
hmmm...
minumum-there was 7 times
from form 2
until when i stepped in my college..

IF u ever met and broke up with a guy only once
i would like to say "congrats"
He is a guy

IF u ever met and broke up with a guy
den he turns back to u once
but he treat u ever so much better than be4
"congrats"
u made a right decision
maybe he just stepped into the wrong way be4

IF u ever met and broke up with a guy several times like i did
i would like to say "stupid gal" and "bad guy"

Why i never get to put him down?
because he never 100% let me go away
even when he stepped into the marriage stage in his life
he kept sms me while i back malaysia that time

for-he wanna meet me up
for-he miss me
even...
when he told me he wanna get married ad
and i replied "congrats"
he told me:
"i still love u..although i am not marry v u, but is better to be like this..so that we will never face quarrel those things"
i cried that nite...
because of my stupidness...
他,就是这样..
永远下不了决定...
在爱情里, 拖泥带水的男人-最不值得爱
因为-他会拖累你的一生

i made the decision to put him down before i came to indo
nearly, i can put him down and vanished him away from my life
thats why-i accept my dear

but..he never let me go..
those messages from him ruin up my mind again
my heart never ever go through a recovery period
thats HURT

I DID, told my dear
about him, about those messages he sent while he wanna get married
about i cried that nite while received the messages bt why he din marry v me
but...i DID, made a right decision
Thats nite i was just too brave
i told him "Let me go"
i told him"I was just fine without u"
haha XD

dear...
my heart havent really gone thru those recovery period
give me some time....
i promise...after that, there is no more *miss* for him...
dear, i m just so sorry...

wanna dedicate this song :刘若英-我等你
ps: 半年逾期了好久好久,我要狠狠把你忘记-不纵容你在心底, 把你当成路过的人而已..

孤单北半球

用你的早安
陪我吃晚餐

记得把想念存进扑满

 我望着满天星在闪
听牛郎对织女说要勇敢

别怕我们在地球的两端
看你的问候骑着魔毯
飞用光速飞到我面前
你让我看到北极星有十字星作伴

少了你的手臂当枕头
我还不习惯
你的望远镜
望不到我北半球的孤单
太平洋的潮水跟着地球来回旋转
我会耐心地等
等你有一天靠岸

少了你的怀抱当暖炉
我还不习惯
e给你照片
看不到我北半球的孤单
世界再大
两颗真心就能互相取暖
想念不会偷懒
我的梦通通给你保管

他不知道的事

他不知道
只有在他陪伴当下
我才会化身为"猪"

他不知道
只有在感觉到他那冰冷的身躯
我才能安稳的一觉到天亮

他不知道
只有在微微听到他那心跳频率
我才能睡得特甜
*虽然他总会在他醒了后,吵我起床*

现在的他
更遥远了
我们间隔了一道海洋
那是我游不过去的地方
*水是我的心理障碍*
他不知道
那是我每晚失眠的原因

以往的他
即使不在身旁
只要感觉到他就在我家区域附近
心, 依旧会安定了下来

现在...
感觉不到他的气息
感觉不到他的温度
他不知道
只有到了破晓时分
有那微弱的阳光照进房里
那-才是我真正的入眠时间..

他不知道
我最迟也只能睡到八点
他不知道
少了他,我的睡意浅了许多

我是暖炉,他是寒冰
他不像童话故事里的王子
他没有那温暖的怀抱
与他相拥太久,
相反会让我冻着...
*tissue是在他家必用的工具*

曾经我渴望着他给我些暖气
谁晓得..
原来- 依偎着那块寒冰
已成了我的习惯...

他不知道
比起抱着那暖和, 不会让我因此打喷啑的被
我更爱那寒冰~

面对爱情

面对爱情
你, 是否和我一样
=时而欣喜=
=时而失落=


面对爱情
你, 是否和我一样
=挂念着=
=焦虑着=


面对爱情
你, 是否和我一样
=渴望拥抱=
=憎恨距离=


面对爱情
你, 是否和我一样
=吃醋潭子=
=吞闭门羹=


面对爱情
你, 是否和我一样
=小心谨慎=
=细心经营=
=步步为营=



面对爱情, 我, 就像个小孩
= 一心要爱=
 
 

very surprise?

very surprise?
those words knocked  me one day in the middle of night
"I did, so much"

everything happened just like miracle happened all over again in my life
unbelievable~~

"that day" is a day to be remember

寻回那遗失的幸福拼图,
心又回归到那完整的幸福频率♥

Thats it

Do u believe that:
"when u dislike or afraid of something so much,
till u hope to get rid of that thing so much,
at the end,
the "something" will fall on u..?"

Haha!
I DO~

Perhaps, thats it
=Law of Attraction=

受了点伤

阿桑

dreams

"When people appear in your dreams, It's because that person wants to see you." -- Time Magazine

Is that true?
Maybe it just partly true
Maybe it is used in those ancestor`s case or someone who had passed away

was dreaming last night, about M
this was the second time I dream about him during this holiday
maybe, it was true that i miss him quite lots?
i was thinking back the past time
haha!
when someone told me that :" i steal away her smile, help me bring it back"
i felt that was something profound which he had stated
and i was thinking "why my ex never told those great words?"
haha!
he stole away my smile, really, too much
he stole away my trustworthy in love

my smile was just too little when I was in Form 1 till Form 5
even when i stepped into my foundation
thats why my lovely primary teacher always tell me
"u should be in ur age..happy~ not as now.."
haha!

and feeling unsecure for the relationship between me and my dear
i really havent get to trust HIM 100%
still worry that he might fall in love with others (as there are lots of pretty girls and I am not the one)
worry that he might fall in love with others when he is lonely in the future when we separate apart
worry that we might get further futher and further apart, till there is no same topic between us
still worry for many others
feeling unsecure, even he really do treat me well
i do trust him, but my heart keep shivering
><
worst!

i missed my ex
although i knew,
i shouldn`t do so
*sigh*

"Is that because he wants me to see him?"
"Is that the reason he appears in my dreams?"
"Is that he miss me too?"

100% IMPOSSIBLE

Silent Love

i saw this scene just now
when i just went out my room
wanted to wash dishes

The new bapak here (replace for 2 weeks)
he lying and sleeping on the floor
while his daughter slept on the sofa
i felt touched
thats the love from a daddy to his daughter
silent love
love shown by action

i really felt it is damn cold tonight
then i asked " ngak sejuk ya, pak?"
he dunno wat i was talking about
then, i started to act, act as i was shivering
he replied "dingin"

i wondered why
but my 1st response was, took the another comforter from my room
which dai lou just returned to me
and i havent get to send to the laundry , and passed it to him
suit him ba, as thats the comforter got guys`s smell
haha XD

he rejected the comforter intially
den i said, orelse u  give it to your child

after i finished washing my dishes
and went back to my room
i discoverd he havent use that comforter
he told "kotor nanti"
"ngak pa pa" was my replied

i will never treat indonesian as well as this, i guess
especially after today`s incident
but maybe is because of his love for his child, melt my heart

i guess i can sleep well tonight
actually i felt a bit unsecure with the new bapak
as when i told him i might sleep with others and not back home
he told me  "takut? gak pa pa..bapak tidur kat sini"
his replied made me a bit worried
haha~~seldom can find tis kind of "good" guy i thought

but, after the scene just now
i think, he is not a bad guy

thats the silent love i discovered today <3

....

冰冷的身躯
是因为今晚寒冷的天气
冻结的心灵
是因为感受不到一丝丝的人情味

如果你在这, 多好
一定能感受到我那微微颤抖的身躯
而将我紧紧地拥如怀里
如果你在这, 多好
一定能给我那冻结的心灵,带来温暖
一定能安抚我那频频不安的心~

unlucky day

today is an unlucky day

the taxi driver spoiled my good mood
he made me frightened
he made me helpless,
as i couldnt find anyone that could help me that moment
he made me hate indonesia so much
he made me wanna back home so badly
he made me hate my bf a little,
as i could not reach him
he made me suddenly hate that,
he is so far from me
i even hate
the future long distance relationship we will face
and hate that i could not told all of this to my mum
because i dun wan her to be worried
no family, no bf, no friends beside that moment i being bullied
pity me~~

and the ibu and bapak at our kos
i just wondering
if there is protest near our kos
and they are finding for malaysian
will them just push me out to dead?
according to today`s situation, there is 98% possibility, they will do so

i hate them, especially the ibu
i just kept everything she done on me secretly
but my heart is no longer affordable

cooking at the kitchen
she kept mumbling
mumble that i used up long time for cooking
she kept watching and more suitable to say that she kept monitor me for cooking
she didnt let me to use large fire
each time, i could only use the smallest fire to cook
i could not use the large space to cut the vege
i could only use the super little space near the basin
sometimes, she hide some big pot and bowl up
including this time, before she back for raya..

previously, she said me
for using her`s  detergent for washing
fine...
i got a little anger that time
because the others always use the detergent there
but she said nothing
i bought her a medium size detergent back
now, everytime i washed, even a spoon, or a cup
i need to showed her that i used mine
no one will ever know whats my feeling

my bf told..
maybe she dislikes me because i used the kitchen which she dominate before
well...
i started to give her and the bapak a few packets of biscuits each time i took those biscuits
this time back,
i even gave ibu the whole pack of instant cereal drinks( honey flavour) which i like the most
thinking that they can drink and stand for hungriness during puasa

but, they will never treat me in a good way no matter how hard i tried
maybe someone was right
i just so easily to be bully

today, when the taxi driver went down
he talked to bapak and ibu about the case
haha!
same skin colour ppl will help those same skin colour, right?
the bapak say nothing but just smiling
and finally when the taxi driver voiced up" dari malaysia kan?"
he noded and replied so at once
and they talked something bad, i knew

until now...
there is still some sadness in me
my tears still falling down
they even fell down more easily
i just cant hold my feeling
each time, think back
they fell down unconciously
aiykss

how many days that i need, to calm myself down?

and my dear cut his finger today ><
such an unlucky day

bullied by taxi driver

bullied by the taxi driver
he knew i was a Malaysian!!

i hate it so much
i hate
i hate
i hate
really

i hate this country de people
i wanna back home

i cried
so badly

i need someone , i guess
sms him, but i din get any reply
hate so much suddenly
hate long distance relationship suddenly

feel wanna call mummy
but i scared she will worried

argh...
pissed off!

I hate this country
I hate!!

Ps: where r u....y am i so hard to reach u...

i found

i found it, just today...
from the long long time ago de pic in ur profile..
u wore, the clothes i bought for u..
i tot that is not the one i bought while i viewed those photos last time
because those photos was taken side way
but, once i saw one of the photo from ur old profile
while i saw the logo on it,
THATS IT.."Hush Puppies"
haha..

u wore, i tot u just kept it
i tot u dont like it..
i dont sure if u ever wear that
because i had never see u wearing that shirt
but, felt so  happy while i got to know that u ever tried on that
thats already more than enough
^^

and also the cap..
although u will never know that was the present from me
initially, quite sad while u told him, the guy that gave u that cap
u actually loves the silver colour more than the gold one..
but while u told me last time
u always wear that, and u like that
happy, really..

Now..
i cant buy u any present anymore
i have no chance to give u any present
somehow...i miss last time.....................................

there are still 2 presents at me, that i havent get to present u..

最后一次

在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前 我想对你说我爱你 在你怀里 舍不得放弃 心里有千万语还没说给你听 我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛 这次告别就不能再相遇 不能再陪你 但不要忘记 你曾经答应我你会好好活下去 先走了 去了好远的地方 不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮 所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易 生死由天决定 不要太伤心 在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前 我想对你说我爱你 在你怀里 舍不得放弃 心里有千万语还没说给你听 我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛 这次告别就不能再相遇 不能再陪你 但不要忘记 你曾经答应我你会好好活下去 在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前 我想对你说我爱你 在你怀里 舍不得放弃 心里有千万语还没说给你听 我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛 这次告别就不能再相遇 不能再陪你 但不要忘记 你曾经答应我你会好好活下去 我 永远 爱你

嘘..

世界突然静了下来
在你离开以后

她说

她说:
"别放任我哭泣"

男人.....
抱紧她吧~

依旧是你

尝试在寂寞中找些慰籍
尝试在孤独中找个伴
尝试找个短暂的避风港

却发现..
那心里深处..
想的人, 依旧是你~

背叛不了你
该怎么办?

我依旧要一个人生活~

叫我能不恨你吗? :p

i hate

i hate
hate it so much
while i need to type my blogger in chinese so badly
while i need to release my sadness in chinese so badly
BUT i was not allow to do so

i hate it so much
while i burst down
and was crying
now..

i hate it so much
i still need to pretend ntg and strong
in front of him

i hate it so much
when he said "dun cry now a!!!"
it made me cry even more terrible..
is there someone here for me now?
wuwuwu @@


Ps: i am not that strong

无题

因寂寞而思念
却因思念而更加寂寞了..

心沉了..
就在今天..
突然好害怕一个人的日子~

今晚,陪我..
行吗?

Just A Little

A little miss..
just a little..
to my dearest one :p

met him today..
looking at the familar shirt appeared in front of my sight..
looking at the familar way he walked..
i stunned, haha!
is HIM
what a surprise ~
[i never meet him up at school after the lecture began..]

i stopped my footsteps..
afraid that he might notice me..
watching him walked into the chemistry building..
then out again..
seemed like searching someone?

crossing the road, passed by the building while a lorry passed by at the same time..
haha!
the timing is just the right one, because it blocked me from him..

to be honest, i was avoiding him that time..
Reason?
because of the stupid couple shirt i dun let him knew about..

is fate, i guess..
everytime wearing that stupid shirt to school..
for sure, i will meet him up..
as usual, i will avoid him..
because my sight fell on him 1st before he did, each time..

taking my lunch at the backside of the bengkok canteen..
i smiled, for the stupid things i done ...
i smiled, for his appearance just right before my lab..
it seemed like saying "add oil, and good luck" to me...
ENERGETIC ^^

i smiled, because i did miss him so much that time~
thats y i wore that stupid shirt~
unknowingly, i kept smiling till i finished my meal..

wataching him passed my again......

HAHA...
watching him silently from a corner he never get to notice..
i found:
i just love the way he walks
the way he acts
his look, his smile
his view of back..
and everything about him..

I miss him
Just a liitle~~~~~~~~~~