Love this song

NE YO- Miss Independent

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

ooh it's somethin' about
Just somethin about the way she move
I cant figure it out
there's somethin about her

said ooh its somethin about
kinda woman that want you but dont need you
hey i cant figure it out
there's something about her

cause she walk like a boss
talk like a boss
manicured nails to set the pedicure off
shes fly effortlessly

and she move like a boss
do what a boss do
she got me thinkin about getting involved
thats the kinda girl i need oh

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
wont you come and spend a little time?

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
ooh the way we shine
miss independent yeah

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh

ooh there's somethin about
kinda woman that can do for herself
i look at her and it makes me proud

theres somethin about her
theres somethin oh so sexy about
kinda woman that dont even need my help
she said she got it she got it no doubt
there's something about her

cause she work like a boss
play like a boss
car and a crib she bout to pay em both off
and her bills are paid on time

she made for a boss, only a boss
anything less she tellin them to get lost
thats the girl thats on my mind

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
wont you come and spend a little time?

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
ooh the way we shine
miss independent yeah

mmm her favorite thing to say
dont worry i got it
mmm and everything she got
best believe she bought it

mmm she gon' steal my heart
aint no doubt about it
girl you're everything i need
said you're everything i need

yeah yeah
yeah yeah, yeah yeah
yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
wont you come and spend a little time?

she got her own thing
thats why i love her
miss independent
ooh the way we shine
miss independent yeah

miss independent
thats why i love her

Ps: Always get to listen this song during my working time at puchong IOI mall..love this song so much, for no reason ..finally, i get to know the song`s name ^^ perhaps, i wish to be as HER, independent

人生

生活没有想象中那般的如意..

很多事..
往往不是我们所能掌控的..
就如..死亡..
人是渺小的..

曾经有个人告述我..
她一直都很努力的坚持..
可是, 她父亲的逝去..
让她觉得..
原来..不管她多么努力都好..
很多时候..
很多结局..
并不能由她操控..
她..
觉得死别很痛..与生离比较起来,是最痛的..
那道伤口..
永远都在..
我感觉到她的伤悲..
她的无奈..
不管她外表是多么坚强..
她父亲的离去是永远都弥补不了的遗憾..
她是我老师..
她让我长大了许多..
至少..很多人生道理..我懂得..
至少..我更透彻何谓人生..
至少..她让我外表看起来更加的坚定,坚强..


曾经..
某人..
因他外婆的离去...
而痛..
从他每次都会逗留在那间已空了许久的- 屋子..
我知道,他又在追思..
隐隐约约感到他那悲伤..
有时候, 我不希望他去..
虽然知道他很怀念..
却更害怕他因此而伤心..
独自一个人, 逗留在那......
是孤独的..
那般的寂静..
更让人心疼..


人生没有想象中美好..
很多时候..
当我们天真的认为..
幸福其实就在我们身边时..
其实..幸福并不属于我们..
当我们天真的认为..
幸福会是永远时..
原来..幸福已悄悄离开..

很多时候..
很多事情..
都好无奈..
我唯一能做的..
就是坚持..
坚持我所认为是对的..
坚持自己所爱..

trustworthy

He asked me :" There is no chance that both of u can turn back to the past?"
the past time where we r still close together, very close...

"No, i tried before"
she tried , perhaps..
but maybe our efforts just at wrong timing..

"why?"

"i cant get to trust her now"

sad to tell this..
but i hv to admit..
a relationship without the value of trustworthy in it..
is hard to maintain, really..

ur heart asked u NOT to,
but ur brain will keep suspicious in every little things she said..
u will worry that u might be betrayed again....
u wondering, when and which is the real version of she..

'if i din ever get badly sick and back to m`sia before, the situation will not be like this"
i knew that..
i hope that badly too, sometimes..

miss previous moment..

we talk, we should

i found our problems last night..
thats the problem between us from the begining till now..
we talk, we should..
maybe whats his mum said was truly right:
"both of you din communicate?"

met him last night when he reached home..
i wondered where he went..
only then, i realised...
everything went clear last night..

while the message bt "i want hug hug" was sent..
i received "haha:) " from him..
i wondered what was his response..
i was waiting for his messages to ask me to find him..
i was waiting for him to text me when he free..
I wont simply go over without his request, although i did miss him so much sometimes..
I wont simply appear front of his door if he did not text me " wanna come over?"
Thats ME..

He was waiting for me to go over to find him..
"maybe is not thursday night, because she has lab the next day"
thus...
he waited me at home friday, whole night..

Me?
I went shopping+ watching movie+ high tea with friends...

He had this kind of expressions @_@?? when i text him "ci walk got nike sales.."
"why is this gal going to shop but she msg me that she wanna hug hug within this two days?"
HUH..

He slept early every night..
but he had been waiting for me till 11pm if i am not mistaken..
He did, asked me if i wanna go over after my movie..
but i did not, because i knew i will not reached home that early..
"Your wish, take care"
is he angry?
i wondered.......

He text me again yesterday evening...
"where is my hug hug? today is the deadline" I told..
"Haha..Yesterday you dun wan come"
whats run through his mind was that:
"whats going on with this gal? friday ad is the deadline"

Me?
I hv waiting for his response from thursday..
his response that moment : "haha"
i really dun sure what he is was thinking..

thursday night..
"maybe he has class on friday" i whisper to myself..
friday, i havent received any msg from him yet..
"he has class on saturday "
until night, while he text me..
it was late, that i cant bck home that earlier because i ad out with friends..
saturday, 2pm...
after his class...
i was waiting.......
aroung 4pm..only his msg striked me..
"you dont want come last night", "is your problem".........
it ended up i scolded "bad guy bad guy"

Everything went clear last night
his msg "haha" means ok..if not, he will reply "not, i m not free or......."
he was waiting for me friday night because he thought i will go over..
he was wondering while i text him "ci walk got sales"
he was wondering while i text him" where is my hug? today is the deadline" as the deadline ad passed..
he said: he plan to ignore me de, because i made him waiting...and i still dunno about it..

Me?
i wonder whats the meaning of "haha"
i keep waiting for his msg to ask me go over..
i hv no enough bravery to text " miss you..can i go over to find u?" each time..
i was thinking that he had class till saturday, thats why is not suit for me to go over..
i was waiting him after his class ended saturday at 2pm..

HAHA....

i guess his decision of 'ignore me' temporarily ends up when one of my friends told:
"Why r u here? She is waiting for u to accompany her to ci walk" perhaps..xD
p/s: we r going ci walk later at 12 noon..

we talk, we should

Have u?

Have u ever experienced this?

typing messages for someone..
but u deleted it all or kept it in ur draft without sending?

staring at someone`s msn..with his status light glows red..
feeling wanna talk to him..
but u stop ur mind from thinking bt that..
stop ur hand from typing messages for him
because u r just not sure whether he is busy now..
and u might disturb him?

feeling wanna ask him to accompany you for dinner
or ask him to accompany u to buy something at shopping mall
but u did not do so..
because u worried that he is doing his assignment?

feeling wanna messages him
but u worried that he might be sleeping ?

i guess most of people experienced these..
HAHA XD
but that "him" is my bf..

although he already give me permission that i can disturb him anytime ^^

Mr.clock

Mr.clock..
please tick faster..XD
thats most of my friends post..
left one more week,
there will be with their lovely family..

For me..
left one more week, i will not be lonely~
after that..
2 weeks time..i hv to live alone at bandung..
i have to go through every lonely and scary night..
i have to go for each meal alone..
walk alone, watch movie alone..
everything..
crying evrynight, alone..perhaps..
haha XD

soooo sad actually..
soooo scared actually..

Start from the day i knew..
I am the only one in my kost who din bck for raya..
I am the only one who will going to stay at the 3 storey kost..
nervous, lonely`s feelings start arise..

I did not tell my mum about this..
because i dont want to make her worry..
i know, her style..
if she knows about this, no matter how expensive is the flight ticket..
she will let me back home..
sho LOVES me..
i know that so well..

I did not tell my dear about this..
because i do not want to make him worry also..
i want him to back happily, without any worries on me
i want him to gather with his best friends happily..
i dont wish to bother him..
thats why i din tell him..

is worried that he might angry with me if he knows the truth..
is worried that he might blame me for cheating him..

BUT..
i got to know that the ibu and bapak of the kos bck for raya also oni this thursday
i got to know i am the only one who stay at the kost this thursday..
i really dun meant to hide and cheat him..
sorry, dear..
forgive me ....

Be truth..
is nervous, really so nervous..

I sent him a msg the time i got to know the truth..
"dear..give me hug hug after your class today or tomorrow"
i need him that time, so much actually..
haha XD
but i knew it wasnt so easy to study here, at ITB..
he had classes and perhaps assignments..
he might not beside whenever i need..
he might so busy with his stuff..

thats why..
Be Strong, Gal..
i always whisper to myself..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

sometimes i feel envy with a little sadness between..
when i saw pictures of my friends..
smiling happily..with groups of friends..

i wish i could be..
v her, perhaps..
i could spent up to an hour just keep looking at her pics,and
those she v her friends..
i like her?
Haha.......
she is just that pretty that i wish to be as her one day..
orelse..maybe....
looking at her pics..
my mind fell much further behind at the past..
my eyes was wet everytime i did that silly things..

counting the pictures that we captured together..
it could be count with fingers..
perhaps, it was lesser than that..
i cant even get to find any at her profile..
a little dissapointment..perhaps..

watching them close, very close to each other..
i smiled, but i cried in heart..
Hv we ever as close as this?
nope, perhaps..
Hv our friendship can be considered as 'past' now?
Haha!
how long actually can a relationship lasts?
i was confusing and lost now..

sometimes...
i regret for going far from my country..
i regret for my determination in taking this course..
i regret...

Because..i lost..the relationship that i wanna, i wish to hold it so tight..
but....
is feeling that....the relationship is drifting apart..
it had drifted far far away from me..

the feeling was so strong..
it strikes me so hard, the while i was flipping through those old messages..
thats why i cried yesterday..
silly, right?

Humanity

Time flies..
I keep asking myself this 2 days:
" who am I?"
"Have I changed?"
It is just so strange to look at myself..

Doing group assignment..
Everyone is not willing to bring the laptop..*including me*
Where`s the value of sacrifices in me?
Why hv I turned into such a 'not helpful' person?

Is tiring perhaps~
Everytime discussion, U r the only one who bring laptop
U r the one who keep giving opinions..
U r the one who keep typing the info..
U r the one who need to tidy and compile the info at last..
U r the one who need to bring ur laptop during presentation..
Others?
They keep chatting and santai+ing~
Whats the effort they paid?
NOP..

Facing all these...
'Will u still reply "okay" when someone ask u to bring laptop next time?'

Then...
I starts..
to be like them...
I am one of them now..
It ends up with a very fair solution: everyone gets to bring laptop

haha~
is laughing at human..
a group of selfish human..
is looking down at them
*including myself*

I wish I could sacrifice like what i did at the begining..
but could I do those willingly,without any blaming?

I am just a normal Human..
perhaps, I havent get to learn the greatness in GOD..

Lead me and guide me to the right ways, perhaps..
I miss the previous version of Me so much~

feeling much better?

is studying botany rite now..
arghh..
30 pages..
i had oni studied 3 pages..
BUT my brain ad full..
Lend me some brains, perhaps XD

is studying botany rite now..
is taking some deep breath ...
my brain is lacking of oxygen
And most important -Free Spaces~~

is studying botany rite now..
but my mind keep thinking of him..
my pig dear~~~~~~
"feeling much better?"
I keep on asking and guessing..
HOPEFULLY........

is missing his face
is missing his smile
is missing his voice

HAHA!
He is sick..
worry? I do! so much perhaps...

feeling myself is a useless gf..
I told him that...
there is nothing I could do for him..
Bought medic from the apotek, the 'Bye bye fever' plaster..
He dont want to use...
Wanna cook him the 'barley'..
he dont want too..

HAHA!
but..
i guess...
He ad get closer and closer into my heart..
This is the first time..
I voiced up my feelings so directly, without hiding it..
without hesitating~

dear..
55 recover ya ^^
then only can hug me till me fall asleep
55 recover ya ^^
then only can 'pijak' me again
55 recover ya ^^
den oni can punch me back...
haha!
miss the time while i always accidentally punch u ^^
Love to see Ur funny face that moment..

55 recover ya!

For *someone*

MLTR-Thats Why (You Go Away) [edited lyrics]


XXX won't you tell me why
there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Memories is one big illusion
I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

I am the one who set it up
now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget
every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget
the way you're caring
The feeling's so strong
were lasting for so long
But I'm not the one your heart is missing
That's why you go away
I know

You were never satisfied
no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Memories is one big illusion
I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're caring
The feeling's so strong...
were lasting for so long
But I'm not the one your heart is missing
That's why you go away
I know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus
I won't forget the way you're caring
The feeling's so strong...


ps: It remembers me of u..I miss u~

sometimes

sometimes I love a song
because of the lyrics

sometimes I love a song
because of the melody

sometimes I love a song
because of the sad mv

sometimes I love a song
because of my idol

sometimes I love a song
unknowingly

AND
sometimes
I love a song
because of the one I love

我喜欢你!

他说:
其实,我喜欢你! 你知道吗?

和他(另一个-只是普通的男性朋友)
去看电影..
接受邀请的原因是..
他有话对我说~
再加上..
他是我恩人的XX..

我没有劈腿..
因为我不是偷偷摸摸去幽会..
我有告诉我的男人^^
我没有劈腿..
因为我对他没感觉,
那是段没爱情参杂在里头的感情..
我没有劈腿..
我接受邀请,是看在某人的份上..
那人对我有恩..

戏院里..
他有话要说..
特别叮咛我不能生气,不能不理他..

我大约猜到了..他想说的~
只是,我以为他没那么勇敢..
我以为他没那么张胆..
毕竟,他懂..我有他

"你大概想说哪方面的事?我不能保证哦!"

最后..
他说..
他今天一定得说,不然他会睡不着~
"其实,我喜欢你!你知道吗?"

微笑带过..
假装什么都不懂~

唉..
其实..他懂的..
我有他
我爱他

只是..
我不能像拒绝其他男人一样..
直接拒绝..
毕竟..他是我恩人的XX
我必须用最婉转的方式..
把伤害降到最低..

他算幸运吧!
别的男人对我告白后..
只会被我拒绝..(除了,我也喜欢的)
要是他们再次干扰..
我就会把他们打入冷宫..
一封信息都不会再回..
唯独,他不是~

还有一个男子..
情人节送了礼物..
直接就被我退回了..
且,是我直接冲进他教室,还他的..
在别人眼里..
我很绝,伤人很深!
可是,总比对爱情拖拖拉拉的人好,对吧?
一些人,明明不喜欢,却不干脆拒绝,处于暧昧间..
那不是更痛苦,更不公平吗?
你呢?在面对爱情时,面对你不爱的人,又会作出什么反应?

可是..
我永远都会记得..
那个被我当场退还礼物的男子..
因为..
他是那一个,被我伤得那么深,却还没放弃的男子..
我希望他放弃,寻找属于他自己的Mrs.right
可是..他就是等了我..7年..

有时侯,我会想他..^^

I still want you

I made him worried again..
because of my ulcer..
because of my coughing..
because of my health problem..

Maybe is more suit to say like this :
I made him worried..
I drove him mad..
because I was the one ..
who dont care of my health~
I was the one..
who dont know how to take good care of myself..

I smiled,
so happy in heart..
while from his tone, from his voice..
i knew, he was concerned ..
bout ME ^&^

I miss him so much today..
for no reason..
just missing ......
I　miss him..

I remember..
thats why i removed the crispy, fried chicken skin while taking meal..
ate only the meat..
because i knew..
I have to, recover as soon as possible..
I have, I have to..
I cant make him worry bout me again..
because I CARES, CARES bout him..

I remember ..
I remember of his blogpost..
I remember how hurt was I when I read through tat..
He said..
he wont like a girl who dont know how to protect herself
he wont like a girl who dont know how to take good care of herself
because he knows, he is not an attentive boyfriend..

thats why..
I want to learn..
learn to take good care of myself..

because i still,
still want him to be with me


Glitter Text @ Glitterfy.com

viral infection

STRESSED OUT!
argh..
viral infection attacked me again!

*count on me*

Hv u ever heard someone told u this before?
*count on me* ?
Or
Hv u ever told someone
*count on me* ?

something knocked me down past 2 days..
some problem..
bout the holidays during raya and my anxiety for bringging some reference books over here..
someone told me this while i felt so helpless
*count on me*

this was the 2nd time she told me this..
and this was the 2nd time she let me down..

i scolded myself actually..
deeply inside my heart today..
for trusting her once again..
for putting the value of trustworthy between our relationships once again

IS HURT, I ADMIT

the 1st time..
i trust her..
that she will bring me the news bt the lab replacement, the studies and exams matter..
i TRUST her, TOTALLY..
she told me and promised me that..
she will called me the next day as her indo sim card had expired..
she promised that..
she will let me know bt those matters very soon..

1 weeks passed..
i din received any news bt that..

u will never get to know..
how was I feeling that time..
U WILL NEVER GET TO KNOW

stressful and anxiety each day..
keep waiting and checking fb, mail, msn each day, each moment..
u will never get to know..
how helpless was I..
and other than waiting..
waiting for her call
waiting for her new hp num..
waiting for her news..
there was nothing i can do..
I WOULD NEVER WANT TO FEEL THIS EVER AGAIN

1 weeks passed..
i begged her, to bring me some news bt those matters..
U WILL NEVER GET TO KNOW HOW I BEGGED HER
I WILL NEVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE ANYMORE
then..
i asked for others help..
they had even give me some news bt those matters..
but, neither from her..

few days after that..
only then..
she left me msg for me in fb..
HAHA!
her msg seemed useless for me that moment..
because she will never get to know how was I passing my day, my time...

tats the reason why I kept myself apart from her after my sickness..

SO,
PLEASE DO KEEP UR PROMISES..
and if u cant,
dont give ur PROMISES ~

sem 3..
i tried to talk to her again..
i tried to change us back to the past while we were very close together
as what i had told one of my friend..
that i wished to reach her again, but i felt is tough..
but..i STEPPED OUT!

is that a good start?
or a chance to break my heart again?

2nd time..
*count on me*
she told..

she let me waiting again..

this time..
when i asked her..
she just trying to ask others..

HAHA!
feeling myself as a fool today...

TRUSWORTHY
PROMISES
*COUNT ON ME*
FRIENDSHIP

Someone told me that:
"sometimes u will simply forgive someone because you still want them in your life"

挥之不去的自卑

最近..
fb多了好多照片..
照片里..
都好丑~

我..
又回到了那只懂得..
卷曲在龟壳里的我..
自卑..

我好想remove tag
超想..
可是,又好怕朋友不爽~
哈!

我一直没说..
我介意..
介意照片里的我总是有着那暴牙
介意照片里的我眼睛小,单眼皮,吊吊的..

所以..
往往在照了一张,看到效果后..
所有拍照的兴致都会随之溜走..

因此..
我不喜欢拍照!
因为我自卑
因为我讨厌做回缩头乌龟..

所以...
如果你懂得我..
给我点信心..
给我点尊严..

别碰触我的死穴..
不要叫我'暴牙' (虽然我是)
可..那是最大的伤害!

期待那一天..
我能很开心,毫无顾虑的和朋友们一起拍照..

i lost

i lost him
dunno wats going on..
i wan to call him..
but..
i just dunno is he busying now?
i just wonder will he feel tat i m so 'fan'?

haix..
i dunno wat to do now..

is tat my prediction is true?
we will broke up soon?

i really feel so much unsecure..
start from that day i saw a novel title'broke up' in sin chew daily..

the same thing happened few years ago..
and i broke up with M after that..

will same thing goes between us?

Feeling so unsecure..
really so much unsecure ><

WORST　feeling!