IF

will u accept someone who abandon u,  if he ever turns back ?
will u....?

I did it previously...so many, too many times..
just for the one...
silly?
i felt that, most people felt that....

but my heart keep on whispering to me
"I still love him, so much, too much"
while i accept those messages from him

my heart keep telling me
" I havent put him down, i still cares him, and i still want him"
then...i accepted him ...once again
i dont want to hv any regret in my life
i knew i will blame myself if i ever rejected him, oppose my real feeling towards him
thats why, i accepted him...once again

again...i being hurt....
few months or half years past
the same things happened again...
again...i accepted him
again and again, again and again

i wondered, how many times i had been hurt by the same person
i wondered, how many times we broke up and be together again
hmmm...
minumum-there was 7 times
from form 2
until when i stepped in my college..

IF u ever met and broke up with a guy only once
i would like to say "congrats"
He is a guy

IF u ever met and broke up with a guy
den he turns back to u once
but he treat u ever so much better than be4
"congrats"
u made a right decision
maybe he just stepped into the wrong way be4

IF u ever met and broke up with a guy several times like i did
i would like to say "stupid gal" and "bad guy"

Why i never get to put him down?
because he never 100% let me go away
even when he stepped into the marriage stage in his life
he kept sms me while i back malaysia that time

for-he wanna meet me up
for-he miss me
even...
when he told me he wanna get married ad
and i replied "congrats"
he told me:
"i still love u..although i am not marry v u, but is better to be like this..so that we will never face quarrel those things"
i cried that nite...
because of my stupidness...
他,就是这样..
永远下不了决定...
在爱情里, 拖泥带水的男人-最不值得爱
因为-他会拖累你的一生

i made the decision to put him down before i came to indo
nearly, i can put him down and vanished him away from my life
thats why-i accept my dear

but..he never let me go..
those messages from him ruin up my mind again
my heart never ever go through a recovery period
thats HURT

I DID, told my dear
about him, about those messages he sent while he wanna get married
about i cried that nite while received the messages bt why he din marry v me
but...i DID, made a right decision
Thats nite i was just too brave
i told him "Let me go"
i told him"I was just fine without u"
haha XD

dear...
my heart havent really gone thru those recovery period
give me some time....
i promise...after that, there is no more *miss* for him...
dear, i m just so sorry...

wanna dedicate this song :刘若英-我等你
ps: 半年逾期了好久好久,我要狠狠把你忘记-不纵容你在心底, 把你当成路过的人而已..